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Teachers often talk about writing as a matter
of struggle, of working hard and of encountering the difficult. Of course,
writing has all of these qualities, but how gentle is one's slope up that
difficulty? What's the angle on your mental treadmill?
No more potent an incentive to return
consistently to the writing desk exists than when writing
is a mild happiness. This emotion is key
to building discipline as a writer.
MILD:
Avoiding extremes, binges, ups and downs, and
manic relations to the ability to write. Don't celebrate anything about writing
ability, and don't mourn anything either. In his marvelous but unfortunately
under-discussed book, How Writers Journey to Comfort and
Fluency: A Psychological Adventure, Robert Boice describes the importance of making motivation to
write "more internal"; in fact, growing this internal motivation
should be one of the goals of a writer
—as much a project as completing a book
or even "writing everyday." Boice turns our attention to
the emotional states we experience when writing and specifically asks us to
seek a calm approach, a "mild happiness."
Crazy deadlines, all-nighters, adrenalin-pumping procrastination, and
writing binges may bring a temporary burst of writing high, but the writer will
shortly suffer a let-down: emotional, cognitive, and physical. It's like relying on too much Red Bull: feels good in the short-term but will only cause problems, tiredness, and dependency in the long-term. Some people
struggle to avoid states of hypergraphia (being unable to
stop writing)—as the neurologist Alice Flaherty so well documents in
The Midnight Disease: The Drive to
Write, Writer's Block, and the Creative Brain.Other people induce this
state in themselves--when it never had to be an option.
That common technique of waiting until last minute to start a project only seems beneficial. As Peter Elbow has pointed out, this method helps to kick a tricky audience out of your head because you simply can't afford to ponder them: it's "do or die" time. In a paradoxical way, waiting until last minute increases mindfulness because it allows the writer to focus on themselves while composing
—and not some distant audience.
However, this method is unreliable (it won't always work and then you're stuck
with an incomplete task or failure). Waiting until last minute also does damage
by forever linking the act of writing with anxiety, sleep deprivation, and
immobility: it makes writing become an unnatural and energy-expensive act, too
separate from the normal give and take of everyday moments.
On the other hand, mild happiness resembles the state of equanimity which Sharon Salzberg has described as the ability to allow things to be as they are by putting large space around events and observations. Equanimity is about our stance on external events--how we relate and respond to them—whereas maitri refers more to how we relate to internal developments arising inside ourselves.
As applied to writing, equanimity means
watching each moment during the writing experience and allowing it to be what
it is. It means not overly valuing the ability to write. It means accepting a
productive session as much as accepting a session in which you typed nothing.
It means that when time's up on your writing session—you need to get to work
or your kids are starting to leap out of their bunk beds—you just move on with
ease. You know you've got other interesting things to do with your day. If you
don't work with external constraints, set the limits on your writing session
simply for the purpose of practicing that mild stance.
HAPPINESS:
Happiness in writing comes then as a result
of that equanimity—because it means we are practicing acceptance, being
gracious and generous toward ourselves (and we all know how harsh writers can
be on themselves). It means that every writing moment can be a low-stakes
moment: exploratory, safe, private, secluded. We are happy that we can be so
kind to ourselves. With this perspective, there is absolutely no reason to feel
uneasy about writing and no reason to dread it.
Basically, a writer needs motivation to
continue and that involves accumulating positive associations with writing.
This is far from a trivial matter: so much about writing seems linked with
unpleasantness.
Early on in graduate school at the University
of Iowa, I forced myself to spend hours each summer day meditating on the
single image of a still-life. It was so painful that part of my brain literally
started to twitch. The consequence? Did I get any writing done that summer?
When September rolled around, I "discovered" several typed poems I
had no memory of actually writing. Apparently, the experience was so painful
that I'd blocked the actual writing entirely out of my consciousness. A few
years later, I worshipped Martha Graham and pushed myself through strenuous
acts of deprivation in order to finish poems. None of this was as sustaining to
my writing life as the gentle and accepting approach of mindful writing.
So the question a writer needs to ask if he
or she is struggling with writing is this: What would it take to bring
pleasure into writing for me? No matter the answer... now matter how
seemingly trivial and possibly even child-like, it's your answer. For instance:
I could use crayons. I could write for only minutes right now and then go for a
walk. I could copy the same passage over and over. I could freewrite about something that's troubling me rather
than working on my article.
Pleasurable experience needs to be built
into the curriculum whether in the classroom or in the self-teaching of your
study (if you are no longer a student). Mild happiness is a learning outcome as
valuable as "improve critical thinking skills" or "understand
the social dimensions of written communication" or any of the bulleted
statements found on syllabi.
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